


Derek Nurse and his Merry Men

by Alittlefandominmylife



Series: OMGCP Fairy Tales [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Robin Hood, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 14:59:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10440414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alittlefandominmylife/pseuds/Alittlefandominmylife
Summary: King John Johnson goes to war and his crooked brother Prince Chad takes over. Shenanigans ensue with Derek Nurse and his Merry Men plus one very beautiful Lord William in a fairytale style retelling of Robin Hood.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For AHausOnFire on Tumblr who requested this fairy tale.

A long time ago in a town far away, the fair and noble King Johnson ruled over the kingdom of Samwell. He was beloved by all, if not seen as a little odd, and the people were extremely loyal to him. One day, King Johnson left on a quest to rid his kingdom of strife. He left the kingdom in the hands of his brother, Prince Chad.

“My people and the narrative are in your hands, brother. Treat them well while I am away,” King Johnson instructed as he mounted his noble steed and set out on his journey, knowing he would not be able to return for a long time. But Prince Chad was nothing like his brother. He was selfish and greedy, with a heart corrupted by hatred and jealousy.

While King Johnson was gone, disaster struck. The land fell into poverty with the immense sums Prince Chad spent on parties, and there was nothing left to ensure the people who came into his court would be fed and clothed through the harsh winter months.

One man could see the changes in the kingdom and the way their Prince was abusing his power. His name was Derek Nurse. Derek spent the next year gathering his friends and making more along the way; a Friar with the last name Knight and who took every opportunity to condemn the corruption in the kingdom, a giant of a man with brooding eyes who was good with a longstaff called Little Jack, and Chowder with a heart kind and pure intentions who brought sunlight into the forest with his smile.

Together, Derek and his band of Merry Men dressed like woodsmen in deep forest green and hid in Manhattan Forest where they were safe. They worked together to care for one another; foraging and hunting, building houses and carrying water, taking in strangers who had nowhere else to go so long as they swore to a life of kindness and fair play. Each new person brought with them a new set of skills, and in return for Derek teaching them how to use a bow and arrow, they all taught him part of their craft.

Nearly every day Derek and his men rode into the city to reclaim goods that rightfully belonged to the people. The town baker, a slight blond man named Bittle, risked his business and indeed his life to help hide valuable goods and make sure that the people in the village had enough food to eat. The portrait painter in the castle, a small but fierce woman called Lardo, gave Derek’s band of Merry Men the layout of the castle. A pair of guards called Ransom and Holster looked the other way when Derek’s men showed up, feeling it was better the crown lose some of its gold than for the people to go hungry.  When Prince Chad found out about the thefts, he was outraged.

“Bring this Derek Nurse and his band of Merry Men to me at once,” he commanded the sheriff of Nottingham. “I will throw them in my dungeons for stealing from me!”

Without objection, the sheriff rode off with his soldiers, armor shining and shoulders high, certain that he could capture these petty thieves and bring them to justice. It would gain him favor with Prince Chad, and he would have a position of honor in the court.

But the gallant Derek and his Merry Men always seemed to be one step ahead. Perhaps it was due to their friends in town who would warn them of the sheriff’s plans, or perhaps it was due to the noblemen who would detain the sheriff with food and wine in order to give Derek and his troupe a head start back to Manhattan Forest. Despite the constant clumsiness Derek displayed, they were never caught and often went completely unnoticed. Whatever it was, the sheriff always returned empty handed.

One afternoon, a young nobleman rode into the forest searching for Robin. His name was William Poindexter, and his flaming hair and warm freckles caught the eye of Prince Chad who had always had an excessive appetite for pretty things and pretty people. William was promised to be wed to Prince Chad because his family could not pay its debts. The bargain had been made and William had been swiftly shipped into Nottingham before he could even say goodbye.

Derek knew who William was, but kept quiet, not wanting to show his hand. When Friar Knight brought him forward to rest and warm himself by the fire, out of the cold winter winds, William told his story to Derek, feeling a bit skeptical that this group of ruffians could help him.

“What brings you into the forest today? Wouldn’t you be happier in the warmth of the castle?” Derek asked, keeping his identity secret.

“I’m a captive in that castle,” William protested, feeling disgust roll through him.

“Safe though,” Derek pointed out, wondering how far he could push before the young Lord William would get mad enough to leave. “It can’t be that bad. After all, I understand you’re engaged to be married. Happy times,” he said, hiding his smirk as Lord William’s face turned nearly as red as his hair and he sputtered with anger.

“You have no idea what it’s like to be trapped! You’re free to do whatever you want here!” William argued.

“Anything you like,” Derek nodded and he knew it would be a low blow, but continued talking anyway. “Things like freezing or starving to death while the people in the castle on the hill feast and celebrate.”

William was shocked and hurt, but after a moment he bit back, “Why don’t you just take me to Derek Nurse and let him decide if I can stay.”

“You’re looking at him,” Derek said, pulling back the green hood he wore and letting the firelight illuminate his face. “Go back to your castle little Lord. Come here again when you’ve seen how your privilege hurts those around you,” he said, gesturing for Chowder to bring William’s horse so he could leave. He knew William would be back, Derek just hoped it would be soon enough to make a difference.

~

The months went by and eventually, Lord William did return. This time he came into the camp on foot, dressed simply and keeping quiet to prevent anyone from following him into the forest.

Derek was just on his way back from a successful hunt, carrying several wild birds that would help feed their band of Merry Men. He lost his footing and ran into William (as was not uncommon). When they met, William took the chance to ask a favor. His friend Dame April was in danger of losing her home and the lands where she had grown up. Her father passed away leaving in charge of the land and the people who lived there, but a small debt she couldn’t pay had been enough to justify Prince Chad taking her property.

“I ask that you help me only so that she does not lose everything she has grown to love,” William said, his manner less proud this time, and it softened Derek’s heart to see William humble himself this way.

“We’ll do our best to help your friend, Lord William. But you should leave here now. It’s dangerous for you to be here,” he insisted, escorting their guest to the edge of their woods. “Come back in three days. We’ll have enough to pay Dame April’s debts.”

“Thank you,” William said, taking in the kindness in Derek’s eyes and giving him a small smile. “And please, it’s Will.”

“I’ll see you in three days, Will,” Derek said, kissing the back of his hand and enjoying the way a blush spread across Will’s nose and cheeks.

Once Will was headed in the right direction, Derek returned to the camp and after some mild chirping, they set out to make a plan. They needed to act quickly, so he and Little Jack made their way into the castle, slipping through the great hall and stealing their way into Prince Chad’s chambers. Treading carefully, Little John took a small pouch of gold coins right from under the Prince’s sleeping nose.

As they were leaving Derek stumbled into one of the guards, staring up at him with wide eyes before Little Jack pulled him away.

“Oh no! Thieves! Stop them, Holster!” cried the guard, barely loud enough for his friend across the hall to hear.

“Ahhh! Whatever shall we do!” Ransom called in return as they set off to follow Derek and Little Jack over to the embattlements, watching their green-clad bodies slide between the merlons and disappear into the night.

“I love our job,” Holster said, fist bumping Ransom as they went to alert Prince Chad that there had been a robbery.

At dawn, the sheriff and his men searched the countryside for Derek and his men. They combed Manhattan forest but rumors of hauntings kept them from wandering too deep into the greenest parts of the forest where shrubs and underbrush dominated the habitat. Once again, the sheriff and his men came back empty handed.

Prince Chad was furious, and reports of the war toning down where King Johnson was didn’t help anything. Prince Chad only had a little while to deal with Derek Nurse and his Merry Men if he wanted to be able to focus on how to keep his throne if his brother was indeed coming home soon.

Prince Chad called his advisors around him, their crooked minds plotting together to come up with a trap for Derek. They decided their best chance was to lure Derek and his men out of the woods where the felt most at home and to pull them into town where they wouldn’t be able to hide.

The very next day, Prince Chad announced a great archery tournament, open to all people. The prize for the best archer in the land was a golden arrow and a chest full of silver coins. Derek had long been known for his great skill with a bow, and Prince Chad hoped that he would not be able to pass up such an opportunity. Surely a contest such as this would lure Derek and his Merry Men into the trap the sheriff had waiting. Contestants would have two weeks to get ready, allowing people from near and far all across the kingdom to gather and fill the town for the event.

~

Three days after the heist, Lord William slipped through the castle gates and headed deep into the forest where the sheriff’s men didn’t dare to go. Derek spotted him and walked over immediately, smiling brightly.

“It’s good to see you again, Will,” he said, appreciating the way Will’s blush still crept over his face when they met. “You’ll be pleased to know we have enough to pay Dame April’s debts and a little to spare. You should take it back with you to help those you can,” Derek said, handing the coins to Will in a small burlap sack.

“You’ve gone to so much trouble to do this. Risked your lives even. Surely I must be able to repay you,” William said, thankful for their help.

“You’ve become a better man. You’ve learned how to see life from the perspective of others. That is repayment enough,” Derek said, just as Will leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Derek’s cheek.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely, giving Derek’s hand a gentle squeeze. “But now I should warn you- the archery contest in town? It’s a trap. Prince Chad wants to lure you into town and arrest you.”

“I know. And I promise the sheriff will not be able to lay a hand on me,” he insisted, giving William a soft smile.

“You won’t be persuaded to stay away from the contest, will you?” William asked, seeing through the promise.

“There are people in this world who would greatly benefit from that chest of silver, and just one piece of fletching on that golden arrow could buy a month of bread for a hungry widow,” Derek pointed out.

Will considered it for a moment and he let out a soft sigh. “Then let me give you luck,” he said, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Derek’s lips. They pulled apart and William reluctantly returned to the castle, paying Dame April’s debts and spending the remaining money on those most in need.

On the day of the tournament, Derek and his men made their way into town in groups of twos and threes. Instead of their forest green garb, they wore all assortment of colors and did well to blend in with the people of the town. Derek himself stopped by Bittle’s bakery with Little Jack, putting flour in his beard to turn it grey and make himself look older, and donning an eyepatch and scarlet clothes to complete his disguise.

As they arrived at the tournament grounds and registered as competitors, not a person recognized him. Prince Chad looked out over the crowd, trying to find the group of green men, but look though he might, they were nowhere to be seen.

“I thought you said he would be here!” he snapped at the sheriff, growing impatient and not paying the least bit of attention to Will, who felt there was something familiar about the man in red.

The contest proceeded as scheduled, Prince Chad hoping that Derek Nurse would simply show up late. The best archers in the kingdom came forward, each of them having spent years with a longbow. Many of them had fought in the very war King Johnson had gone to fight in, bringing back fantastic tales of their travels. Each person in the competition fired a single arrow in the first round, the best five advancing to make their next shots.

“Has anyone seen Derek Nurse?” the sheriff asked, nervous that their plan would fail and Prince Chad would punish him severely.

“Could that be him? The man in the red?” Little Jack suggested, his own disguise keeping his identity safe as he watched with Bittle the baker.

“Of course not you fool,” seethed the sheriff, “that man is far too old to be the thief!” he said, moving on as Little Jack and Bittle chuckled between themselves.

The archers stepped forward with a fresh target set up for their last round of competition. Now the people in the stands around the tournament grounds were quiet, anticipation growing. The first two competitors landed their arrows not far from the center, each one receiving applause after their shot. The third person let his arrow sink into the very center of the target, exciting the sheriff and Prince Chad.

“Surely this is the best archer in all of Samwell!” they cried, glad at least that the prize would go to an expert archer.

Finally the fourth contestant stepped forward, aimed his arrow, and let it fly. The arrow spilt the third man’s arrow in half and a wild cheer arose from the crowd. Never before had anything like this been seen. Will clapped enthusiastically and cheered loudly, much to the chagrin of Prince Chad.

The sheriff huffed and he awarded the golden arrow and the chest of silver coins to Derek who was still in disguise. He was furious that their plan had failed, and soon he collected his men and made to leave the tournament.

Suddenly there was the sound of trumpets, and the crowd turned toward the sound, shocked and thrilled to see that King Johnson had returned! He ordered Prince Chad and the sheriff arrested, shaking his head.

“I hoped you would have risen above the tactics I see here. My kingdom is hurting, my people starving, and you give away golden arrows in a display of frivolity. I am ashamed of you,” he said, loud enough for all the crowd to hear.

“And who is this, the most accomplished archer in the kingdom?” King Johnson asked as Prince Chad and the sheriff were being led away.

Derek came forward and pulled off his red clothes, revealing his green garments underneath. “Your majesty it is I, Derek Nurse. My friends and I came to the competition to win the prize and use the money for those less fortunate,” he explained from one knee.

“Who can attest to this?” King Johnson asked and Lord William rushed forward, bowing deeply before he spoke.

“My lord, Derek and his Merry Men have been trying to undo the evil Prince Chad wanted to set through your kingdom. He has risked his life many times to help those less fortunate, and he teaches everyone who will listen to be kind to those who are most in need,” Will explained, his expression soft as he looked over at Derek fondly.

King Johnson seemed pleased with the answer, and he asked them both what they would like as a reward for being such loyal subjects. After all, not everyone had been brave enough to stand up to Prince Chad.

“Release Lord William from his engagement to your brother and forgive his family their debts until the end of the year,” Derek requested and Will looked over at him with adoration in his eyes. “After all, what happiness can be found when ones is not free to love,” he added.

King Johnson agreed and turned to Lord William to ask what he wanted.  “I think I should like to be married, your Majesty. To Derek Nurse,” he said, reaching for Derek’s hand as they smiled between one another.

“You shall be married this very day,” King Johnson insisted and smiled at their happiness. “May you have lives full of happiness, and a home that is full of love, just as the narrative foretold,” he proclaimed, blessing their marriage and escorting them to the castle where Friar Knight performed the ceremony and the wedding bells rang out on the happiest of days


End file.
